Tap Along With These Coaching Sessions
And Release Your Social Anxiety
“I have had a massive improvement recently in my SA and I believe it is most likely down to tapping along to this coaching session. The causes of my SA are very different as expected but I think this cleared a lot of resistance for me. There’s still improvement to be made but
I am so so grateful.”
Most People Fail To Beat
Their Social Anxiety Because…
They can’t do it on their own. Even if they’ve studied tapping and know it very well. They’re not able to clear the subconscious resistance to change.
They can’t uncover and release their blind spots.
They end up going in circles and get STUCK.
And then think they’re a tough case and worry “tapping doesn’t work for me”. But in reality, they simply cannot resolve it on their own. They need outside help. But not everyone can afford that.
If this speaks to you, you’re going to LOVE what I have available for you:
The ‘Eliminate Your Fear Of Negative Judgment Coaching Series’. These are five 90 min long replays of live coaching webinars I did with Mahsa.
All you do is watch the coaching sessions and tap along.
As you observe Mahsa’s powerful transformation you’ll have your own social anxiety issues triggered automatically. And as you tap along you get rid of your fear of judgment and massively reduce your social anxiety.
ENJOY Watching And Tapping Along
Watch as Mahsa releases her social anxiety step by step. Laugh and cry along. Experience powerful ‘cognitive shifts’. Feel inspired by her beautiful transformation. And enjoy the massive relief from tapping along.
Relate And Release!
See Mahsa feel anxious and hear us talk openly about her SA issues. You relate to it even though yours are unique and different (yet very similar).
Your subconscious will link what’s going on with Mahsa to your issues. And as you tap along you release your stuff.
Finally Get Real Results
From Your Tapping
Even if you’re already a tapping expert… there is a limit to what you can achieve on your own with tapping.
“Even the best surgeon can’t remove his own appendix”
These sessions help you discover the subconscious blind spots in the way of your social ease. Which results in big breakthroughs on your journey.
“Hi Sebastiaan! First of all, I want to thank you for doing this, it’s really amazing and it helped me a lot. Also huge thanks to Masha for being so courageous and strong and sharing herself, I admire that. During this series I’ve realised many things that I haven’t seen before (guess those are the ‘cognitive shifts’ you mentioned)), and it’s been such an amazing experience for me. Just to notice what gets triggered in me during webinars is enlightening and maybe also a bit overwhelming (but I’ve tapped on that so I’m fine for now :D). And then those shifts – for example I’ve never realised how much I was stuck or rather fused with my childhood garbage (you’ve dealt with that in the bonus video, just wanted to mention it) and just the idea of not having it felt so bad and weird, I’d feel even guilty. This was huge shift for me, cause i don’t have to have it! And with your help I managed to release big part of the ‘web’ – the overal mood set and feelings from my childhood. And it feels so good and so liberating to not carry that around anymore. I’ll still have to address specific memories, but now I have a mindset that it’s possible to not have it and be okay. Really happy for that! Another big shift for me was when you addressed the resistance to change, since that I really feel like it’s possible, before I knew it but now I kind of feel it, it feels like no problem actually haha. What also really hit home was when you tapped on acknowledging emotions because I tend to follow a pattern of avoiding and repressing them, so after that tapping I felt another shift. I realised that large part of my resistance is usually to avoid negative feelings such as sadness and pain (like I have to deal with fear of them very often when I tap). Anyway, these past few days I’ve been able to not feel anxious during few social situations where I’d get very anxious (I was even shocked when the anxiety didn’t show up haha) and that’s huge improvement for me and it motivates me a lot. So once again, thank you very much for what you’re doing, I really appreciate it))”
(she left this comment after having seen the first 3 coaching sessions)
Hi, my name is Sebastiaan van der Schrier and I am the coach in this coaching series
Since you’re probably skeptical that this can actually help you, allow me to share how this social anxiety coaching series came about…
… so I can DEMONSTRATE exactly how this will help you too (even if nothing has worked until now – there is a reason for that).
I am a former social anxiety disorder sufferer.
I dealt with severe social anxiety for nearly 20 years.
In social situations my heart raced a million miles an hour. I often had a lump in my throat. And I was constantly trying to avoid blushing, or them seeing me anxious.
I couldn’t look people in the eye.
Deep down I felt really ashamed of who I was. I felt “not good enough”. And that there was
“something wrong with me”.
But I didn’t know what…
I just knew I was terrified of embarrassing myself. And I blushed at the drop of a hat. Conversations about sex, looks, dating, or intimacy would make my face go bright red.
When women were around I felt insecure and inferior. Like a little boy. And “cool” people made me super anxious.
But also around strangers I was highly anxious. Even if I didn’t have to interact with them. I was constantly worried what others thought of me. I knew it ultimately didn’t matter, but my logic didn’t stop me from feeling anxious.
I of course tried to act cool and like everything was fine, but inside I was cringing.
I woke up worrying about becoming anxious and others seeing it… … and I went to bed feeling horrible about the social disasters of the day.
I was terrified of my “reputation” and dreaded upcoming social situations. Especially ones where I couldn’t get out of it, and I’d be at risk of being the center of attention.
Life was very difficult. I tried to avoid situations where I would get anxious. And when I had to go to an event, I came home drained, exhausted from keeping up ‘the act’.
I feared I’d be anxious for the rest of my life.
That I would not be able to hold a job, that I’d forever be single, and that I’d end up a miserable and pathetic loser.
At age 17 I discovered personal development and this was very exciting (at first). “I can take control of my emotions and become confident!”
I started doing affirmations, visualizations, hypnosis, NLP, changing my thoughts, and facing my fears.
I did the craziest things to face my fears that absolutely terrified me.
Like purposely getting myself rejected (walking up to women and saying “hey you like me, give me your number”) so I could become ‘rejection-proof’.
Or facing my worst fear (of embarrassment): Putting bright red lipstick on my lips and making circles around my eyes and then starting conversations with people in a busy city…
I did a lot more, from approaching groups of women to public speaking, high five-ing strangers, and all sorts of ‘comfort challenges’. And it all worked:
I felt more confident after it. But the confidence didn’t last…
Within days I was just as anxious as before.
I now know I failed to get rid of my social anxiety long term because I was trying to get rid of the symptoms of social anxiety…
… rather than what triggers the symptoms in the first place (more about this in just a sec).
In 2006 I found EFT (Emotional Freedom Techniques) – a silly looking tapping technique to rapidly release negative emotions connected to thoughts, beliefs, and memories.
And after overcoming my initial skepticism (“yeah right, how can tapping on my face ever make me feel better, this must be a scam”) …
… I decided to give EFT tapping a committed try. One of the best decisions of my life.
I went to an EFT workshop and got to work with an EFT therapist. He asked me some challenging questions to get me in tune with my emotions: “How’s your love life?”
And I was now confessing in front of everyone at the workshop that I didn’t have a girlfriend, or I didn’t have sex in a long time.
I instantly felt heat rising and I was full on blushing. I felt massively embarrassed, ashamed, humiliated and anxious.
As he then guided my tapping (telling me what to think about, what to focus on, and what to say) the bad feelings released rapid quick.
Within 5 minutes of tapping I felt totally calm, peaceful, and at ease. I could hardly believe it.
I could now talk freely about not having sex/girlfriend and I felt totally fine.
I couldn’t bring any of the shame, anxiety and so on back. Not even when trying my hardest.
This profound shift changed my life, because now I knew there was something I could use to overcome my social anxiety problem.
I’ve since used tapping to overcome my social anxiety. This took me years and required lots help from brilliant therapists.
And I’ve now thankfully been calm, confident and at ease socially for a long time. I connect with people effortlessly, am present and in the moment, freely and spontaneously speak my mind, and I enjoy a satisfying social life with great friends.
I’ve even become a Latin dance lover these days and dance in front of crowds. Something unimaginable to me back then.
My life isn’t perfect and I have problems like anyone, but ‘social ease’ is now something that feels normal to me.
After overcoming most of my social anxiety, I began coaching. I’ve been coaching socially anxious clients since October 2009 and I’ve been obsessed with solving social anxiety for my clients in the most effective way.
I’ve consumed the programs of the top EFT Master therapists and worked 1 on 1 with them, applying anything I found suitable to my clients. I certified myself in other modalities like NLP, PSYCH-K, Pro-EFT, SET, and Matrix Re-imprinting.
I experienced just about any imaginable healing modality out there, and studied and applied many of them. I read the top SA books and consumed other popular social anxiety methods. I studied any psychology, neuroscience, and personal development that might help me or my clients.
I’ve received hundreds of hours of mentoring. I’ve taken online workshops as well as live workshops in 6 different countries in 3 continents. And I have on a weekly basis continued my own personal growth through working with my high level coach Julia Reed, and my mentor (psychotherapist and tapping expert) Dr David Lake.
And thanks to this…
I’ve Helped Hundreds Of Clients Release Their Social Anxiety And Feel Socially At Ease
Because I discovered the REAL cause of social anxiety, and learned how to use tapping to get rid of it.
See – anxiety only happens once our subconscious mind perceives a threat.
When this happens, our amygdala (a small almond sized part of our midbrain) activates the fight, flight, freeze (FFF) response.
This FFF response puts our whole system instantly into ‘survival mode’.
Hormones like cortisol and adrenaline get released into our blood stream. Our heart rate increases. Saliva production stops. Our pupils dilate. Blood moves away from our head and digestive system to our arms and legs…
… and our system is now optimally energized to deal with the threat.
So you can FIGHT the threat with all your power, FLEE as fast as possible or FREEZE (play dead) if you can’t do either.
So the racing heart, tightness in chest, lump in throat, imagining worst case scenarios, etc…
… all these “social anxiety symptoms” are nothing but the results of the activation of the FFF response.
Anxiety in social situations is merely the result of the FFF response activation.
Which ONLY happens when the subconscious perceives a threat.
No perception of threat = no FFF activation. No FFF activation = no social anxiety.
The perception of threat is caused by limiting beliefs (like ‘I’m not good enough’, ‘people don’t like me’,
‘I have to do everything right and can’t make mistakes’).
And these beliefs are learned: as a result of cultural, religious, and societal conditioning. But most often the strongest limiting beliefs come as a result of the repetitive negative experiences in early childhood, and life’s traumas.
From this limiting beliefs (emotionalized thoughts) were formed. And these are responsible for the current perception of threat.
And these beliefs are very difficult to change by mere logic, reasoning, and forcing yourself to face your fears.
Why that is?
Because you’ve gathered emotional evidence to prove the validity of your limiting beliefs.
Your subconscious has emotional reference experiences from the past to point to. It learned you are not good enough when your mom criticized you. Or when you got bullied. Or when you failed. Or when you got rejected. Or…
Now you might say “I am good good enough” over and over, or you might come up with good logical reasons for why you ARE good enough…
But the emotional evidence of “not being good enough” is much stronger than your logic.
Emotion wins from logic any time.
Strongly held limiting beliefs won’t shift if you don’t release the emotions connected to them.
Reasoning can be helpful when you have irrational thinking, but you won’t logic your way out of your social anxiety.
You know this is true if you’ve ever tried to talk yourself out of your anxiety (if this worked you’d be anxiety-free by now).
You can repeat logical statements, challenge automatic negative thoughts, and face your fears all day long, but it at best only decreases your anxiety.
It doesn’t undo the past programming. It only builds new beliefs on top (that is IF you do it right).
But that’s as the saying goes “adding whipped cream to a dog turd”.
There is value in challenging unhelpful thoughts, and being mindful. I do it myself, recommend it to my clients, and provide exercises for it.
But it’s helpful only to a (small) degree.
Because it only addresses the cognitive side of the problem. Which is MINOR compared to the emotional side of the social anxiety problem.
And that is because SOCIAL ANXIETY IS MOSTLY AN EMOTIONAL PROBLEM.
Cognitive approaches will never solve your social anxiety because they do not get rid of the perception of threat completely.
But here’s the good news:
Beliefs are nothing more than thoughts that have strong emotion connected to it.
And with tapping, we can release this emotion, and get rid of the beliefs.
Very quickly, as you can see in my coaching sessions with Mahsa.
As we release the beliefs responsible for the perception of threat, your subconscious no longer needs to warn you about danger (cause it sees none).
Now you feel safe being yourself socially. Now you feel comfortable and at ease around others.
You find many video testimonials of former clients who overcame their social anxiety on my Youtube channel. I started it in 2009. And now has nearly 3 million views.
And in 2016 I launched my Social Anxiety Solutions podcast in iTunes (has since been downloaded
< 800 000 times). And the psychologists, coaches, healers, PhD doctors and psychotherapists I interview here also rave about the power of tapping.
August 2018 (after 9 years of coaching) I decided to take things to the next level: work with groups of socially anxious people.
I started the first ever Social Confidence Community.
One key element of our community was me doing live coaching webinars with our members.
I would take a volunteer and do a normal 1 on 1 coaching session. And I’d help that person release the biggest social anxiety issue they had.
And as we tapped together, everyone else could watch us and tap along.
This turned out to be one of the main reasons people had life-transforming breakthroughs.
One of the other key elements of the community was the drip fed tapping lessons I shared with people.
Some of the key lessons I decided to put into a smaller online program: ’Create Incredible Emotional Control’. And as a bonus for this program I decided to do a live webinar with one of the people who purchased the product.
That person would have to be OK with me using the recording later inside the product.
This is how me and Mahsa met (she’s the woman I coach in the coaching series).
In our little pre-interview Mahsa told me about her social anxiety troubles. And I could relate to all she was describing. What she told me I had heard other clients describe many, many times.
She said she had tried to change for years and years. She had tried many things, seen a therapist for many years, and nothing would help.
She wrote this in her client form to apply for the free live webinar coaching session:
“I’ve read pretty much every self-help book on the market, changed my diet, started meditating/exercising, been to both solo and group therapy for the last 4 years (though I haven’t been going the last few months), been on medication which helped a bunch but I stopped a couple years ago because I wanted to solve the issue from the root, and for now I’ve just been doing a lot of avoidance of social situations… which I know isn’t ideal, but it beats feeling afraid all the time.”
In that same client form I asked her to write down her goal of social ease.
And then what limiting beliefs came up for her as she thought about achieving this social ease. Mahsa wrote the following 4 limiting beliefs:
- “Social ease can never happen. I will be this way forever”
- “I’m too different from everyone. I could never make genuine, lasting friendships.”
- “If it hasn’t happened by now, what makes me think I can change?”
- “I’m not worthy of getting to know/I’m not good enough.”
As I read this I knew Mashsa had done a lot, but failed to get any results for a clear reason.
It’s why pretty much everyone fails to overcome their social anxiety:
The self help books and therapy was working on a ‘cognitive level’…
… but social anxiety is for the most part an EMOTIONAL PROBLEM.
And tapping works to release emotions. So after our intro chat I told her I could help her her and we were both excited. So I coached her over this live coaching series.
Mahsa started with a massive breakthrough, at the end of our first 90min coaching session:
“First off I want to say thank you again for sitting with me and helping me work through my resistance and my ‘childhood garbage.’ Watching this back was very therapeutic and I noticed very little attachment to the parts that made me emotional before… it’s almost like I’m watching a completely different person’s story being told. The fact that I can feel so separate from the sadness and hopelessness that I was SO used to experiencing is huge because I have been working the last… 8 years… on the exact issue of being able to release and move on from my past. It’s the reason I began studying psychology when I first started college. And the reason I’ve been in therapy myself for the last 5 years. I’m still in awe that I could release so much emotion in so little time and I’m grateful to you for gently guiding me through the process. Even though I’m nowhere near done with my overcoming social anxiety journey, it feels like a huge weight off my shoulders to be able to start from a more neutral place instead of constantly backtracking to try to undo all the damage that was done in the past. Now I can focus on healing the present situation and building confidence and courage from here. It’s still surprising to me how quickly EFT (tapping) can speed things along. The trauma really does rest inside the body and once it has a way to move out, it’s fully OUT. It feels silly to think about how attached to it I had become after so many years. I thought my pain would always be a part of me. THANK YOU!!! You are amazing and you really have a way of making people feel comfortable and safe.”
(her comment after we had our first live coaching webinar together)
Now at the start of our coaching session I had told everyone watching us to tap along throughout the whole webinar.
And to repeat what I had Mahsa repeat.
Since the social anxiety issues are very similar, and they can relate to Mahsa’s pain, suffering, and anxiety, their mirror neurons would fire.
Their social anxiety issues would get triggered, and the tapping would bring them relief too.
Just by tapping along with Mahsa they would get relief on their social anxiety issues.
Their subconscious would link it to their issues, and the tapping would release the issues.
Here are some comments from under that 1st video:
“Hi, This was actually a very emotional video for me to watch. Not because my root cause of my social anxiety is the same as Mahsa’s but because I could relate to the emotional pain she was experiencing. I cried several times watching this video and tapping along with it because I felt a lot of sadness during the session. It somehow opened up a lot of emotional pain that I have stored in my body. At the same time I also felt relief as the session progressed, as though I was able to let go of some of my pain. It was very helpful. Thank you to both Mahsa for being so brave and to Sebastiaan for being an amazing therapist. Lea”
(she watched and tapped along with the first live webinar i did with Mahsa)
“Thank you so much for posting this and to Mahsa for being so brave. I have had a massive improvement recently in my SA and I believe it is most likely down to tapping along to this session. The causes of my SA are very different as expected but I think this cleared a lot of resistance for me. There’s still improvement to be made but I am so so grateful.”
(she watched and tapped along with the first live webinar i did with Mahsa)
After our initial session I had a good grasp on what Mahsa’s issue was. And I knew I could help her overcome it. Because while the roots of her issue are of course different as every person is unique and every issue is unique…
… there are A LOT OF SIMILARITIES.
One of her biggest issues was what -according to a poll I sent to my whole email list- the no#1 most common social fear:
Fear of negative judgment.
And I knew that if I started coaching her on this and others would tap along with it, just like I had done in the community, many people would benefit.
And we’d not only address her fear of judgment, but other key social anxiety issues too.
And so I asked her if she was interested in doing a coaching series.
Thankfully, courageous Mahsa said yes.
The page you’re reading now is the end results of this.
I’ve recorded the live webinars and put them all in one place for you to easily consume. Watching the replays is just as effective as seeing them live.
Here’s What You Get
Access to all of the five 90min replays of my coaching sessions with Mahsa. That’s 8 hours of coaching sessions to tap along with so you release your fear of judgment AND reduce your social anxiety.
Each video addresses multiple aspects of the social anxiety problem. And as you tap along with them you become more and more confidence and at ease in social situations.
Below is a rough description of the general focus of each video.
Video #1 We release Mahsa’s painful past and get her to accept her SA
Video #2 We release most of her fear of judgment
Video #3 We overcome all her subconcious resistance
Video #4 We release her fears of being the center of attention and being in conversation and others seeing her anxious
Video #5 Surprise! (all I can say is that you’ll LOVE it)